Somebody is Me…

I have huge wings that I cannot hide and a feeling in my heart that I cannot deny. I am in such a fix that there is no going ahead and no turning back either. I am hoping to find an answer soon…  But I don’t know how…

I have huge wings... P.C. - Angel Beats (Anime)
I have huge wings…
P.C. – Angel Beats (Anime)

I have never seen so much blood before. He is still bleeding and I’m trying to stop it. It is not stopping. I can see him breathe; feel that he is still alive. But I know I will not have him much longer. I do not know what I will do from there. I do not know how I will live… Everything is so blurred all around. My blood cannot save him but my arms can help him die with some comfort I think. Shouldn’t I cry? I’m not crying… I want to see the day break. I want him to live with me till then and watch the last sunrise together. After that, I will fly. I will carry his essence with me, his love in me and his memories deep within. I will fly away somewhere no one can find me. I will give birth to our love that I have inside me. Should I not tell him? Will it give him more pain or will it give him some joy? I’ll tell him…

“You will be with us forever…. Touch me here… Yes, our baby is growing in there…. Right underneath your touch…”

The dawn is almost breaking… Wait, let me call him… He must open his eyes. We must see the light together… “Wake up… Wake up… Please open your eyes…. Please see our beginning before the end….” He is not waking up… I cannot stop the rush of tears in my eyes. But I must be strong. I have many false friends and true enemies… I can’t let them touch me. I must bear our child safely.

Oh, how peaceful your sleeping face looks, now that the soft golden sunlight is kissing the sky. The black clouds of tensions and worry are lost. You’re past them. But I must go now. I will pray and I will hurt inside but I must go on for us. I promised you.

I spread my wings. I am standing on the edge.  But my wings seem to have lost their strength. My feathers are red from his blood. The blood that dried on them through the night. My bosom and my womb where I hold a life we made, are painted red from holding you. I think I will leave you now.

The wind on my face feels nice but under my wings, it feels vexed. What has been wasted and lost is all gone now. Why is the wind carrying your scent to me still? They will follow it and find us out… I’ll rise higher…

What is that black cloud in front? It’s a storm… I hear something… Oh God, they are following me… I must fly through the storm else I don’t stand a chance. I have become weak but I must protect you…

It’s so cold and freezing. It is rather dark… I think I have dodged them for now… Ah…. I can’t bear the clash of thunder… It is too much… Oh, don’t worry my baby, I’ll get you through this… I must go…

They have caught up with me. I was wrong. How scary they look. What do they want? My wings can’t fly any faster. Yes, I have his sword.

I have your sword... P.>C :
I have his sword…
P.>C :

Ah…. Clang! Cling! Take that…. Clang! Cling! Ouch… Clang! Cling! No, you don’t… Clang! Cling! I can’t fight any more…. Clang! Cling! I think I’m losing it…. Clang! Cling! Die, you beast…. Clang! Cling! I must go on… Clang! Cling! I see light… Clang! Cling! If I can just reach it somehow… Clang! Cling!

You saved me Light. You held me from falling when I lost my flight. Thank you. I think I can fly now. They will follow. But I will reach the end. I will have my child. I will live for him. Be there, Light. I need you.

I am flying now. How small the beings of the earth look, from the sky. They might see me but probably think I’m a bird. I like that. What? A shadow? Oh, Rain cloud! You want to travel over me? Hiding me from them? Okay…

Battles are not over yet... P.C. :
Battles are not over yet…
P.C. :

It is summer now. The chill is gone. I labored all night and I have our love child in my arms. I miss you. She is very beautiful… I still have the sword ready. The battle isn’t over yet.

I hope you can see… Somebody, somewhere is me.

Copyright2014. Amrita Kar Roy. All Rights Reserved.


5 thoughts on “Somebody is Me…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s